Jake was an officer in the army who, like many, had to keep it together.
Commanding 120 people, he was conditioned to not show weakness.
“There’s a lot that you carry. I’ve lost soldiers. Things that I didn’t know how to deal with. You put it all away in your ruck sack and stuff, stuff, stuff.”
Initially, Jake went into the army to become a lawyer, but after volunteering in an orphanage in Korea, fell in love with kids. He switched gears and got his Master’s in teaching and became an elementary school teacher.
Yet even while holding a full time teaching job, he continued stuffing things away through the years rather than dealing with them.
“My cup was overflowing and I knew. I went from drinking a lot to smoking marijuana. At first it was really helpful but then it became the crutch… I didn’t know what anxiety was. The marijuana would keep me from dreaming, from having the nightmares.”
Jake smoked for pain and then sleep. In 2022, his dad, a Vietnam Vet, died, one of the few reasons Jake could function. “When my Dad died, I realized I didn’t have an outlet.” Other relationships were also lost.
A friend he served with committed suicide on Valentine’s Day. After calling the VA and not hearing back, he tried to distract himself from using marijuana by going out. “I remember thinking – marijuana is not good. So I went to a bar instead.”
The next morning Jake found himself getting out of jail at 11am after receiving a DUI in the parking lot of the bar. A day he should’ve been at school teaching.
“It was really tough. But I was motivated because I was very close to self harm. I was trying to think of a place where I could end my life and my daughter wouldn’t find me. It feels weird to say that and think I got that far. But when you’re spiraling, you can’t see it.”
Part of Veteran’s Court required Jake to attend therapy. Another part involved Community Service, and that’s where his path crossed with Love Your Neighbor.
When we spoke with Jake, he continued mentioning how Love is just a good place to be. We asked him why.
“There’s a lot of adults with special needs and volunteering here is their thing. This is where they come to socialize. I know that they need that because I see that same need as a teacher.” He also went on to mention that hardly anyone at Love knew he was here for community service, “I never felt judged here. Love walks the walk of service.” Jake felt empowered while he served.
“You guys give people a chance.”
He went on to reflect on the challenges over the last two years. “What I’ve learned in the last year is gratitude.. I wasn’t grateful for things. My job. My students. I was grateful to be here and get to know the people here. I was grateful to be in court. The me I am today is ready for what comes later. My friendships are now stronger – I’m a better person to them. I like me. And when you like yourself, people like you.”
After the initial shock of seeing school supplies in stores this past July, he says his first thought was, “I get to go back to work.”
We’re grateful to be part of Jake’s story and hope he’s not done volunteering with Love. Even though his community service hours are done, he’s considering teaching a class at Love’s new Bilingual Life Skills Program.
Learn more about the new program here.
Or consider volunteering with us in the area that fits you best!