Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.” Proverbs 31:8
I’d like to share with you one of the many stories that we have the privilege of not only hearing but participating in as a ministry. One of the main privileges of our Life Skills ministry is that we get to support people in some of their most painful and vulnerable moments. I consider this a privilege because it is a sacred act to be invited to be present with someone when their life is the hardest. What a joy it is to whisper prayers under my breath on behalf of someone who is hurting and to say, out loud, the words that bring comfort and encouragement in the midst of these daunting moments. Solving all of life’s problems may not be something we can always do, but being present for someone when they are hurting is something we will always be able to do.
That moment for me was being invited to support one of the women in our Life Skills program who was going to a court appointment. She is a young single mother who is working very hard to turn her life around with the support our Life Skills Program. I have the privilege of being her mentor. We meet weekly to work together on her budget, to share life’s ups and downs and I pray that I am an encouragement for her as she is learning to know God in a deeper way.
The reason that we were going to court was because she has been in an abusive relationship with the father of her two young children. I learned firsthand that domestic violence is not for the faint of heart. This court visit represented the tenth violation of a personal protection order that she has against a man who has abused her physically, tormented her emotionally and has gone so far as to threaten her with death.
I also learned that “stalking” is a difficult crime to prove and even harder between a husband and wife. The young mother asked for a victim’s advocate and was told since this was a “civil” case, in other words, “between a husband and wife,” she could not be afforded this service. If her husband was to be prosecuted in any way, she would have to face him in the courtroom. No barriers, no video services, no one to advocate for her, she simply had to dig deep and find the courage to stand before her tormentor and risk further harm simply by asking that he be stopped from harassing her. One can threaten a stranger with death and it is a crime, apparently threatening your spouse with death is a “civil” situation.
Needless to say, she was terrified. Words poured out of her like water as she asked anyone who came into the room to help come up with some way so that she didn’t have to testify. She carried a worn folder, crammed with documents from past offenses. A doctor’s assessment stating that it isn’t a matter of “if” this man will hurt someone in his paranoia, but “when.” She could recite dates, times, incidences, people who knew, court rulings, all pointing to the truth that this person is dangerous. There was no “out” though, each person told her that while they were sympathetic, this is the way the system works and she would indeed have to face this man in court.
With a local sheriff, a witness, and the prosecutor we came around this strong young woman to support her, but we couldn’t do the actual testimony for her. She would have to do this herself. I told her that she couldn’t forget that even if this was hard, she was RIGHT. That every time she stood up to this person, she was one step closer to his behavior catching up with him. I reminded her of all the hard personal work she has done in the past few months to get her life in order and I emphatically told her what a strong, beautiful woman she is and that she didn’t have to look at “him” she could look at me during the hearing. I also told her to know that for every moment we were in the courtroom, I would be in constant prayer to the God who “sees” and was with her!
What happened? As these things often do, the attorney representing her husband came forward with a last minute plea. Amazingly, he was willing to plead guilty! But what do you get in Michigan for stalking the mother of your children and pleading guilty? For calling her at work and threatening to kill her? For having a witness who can testify to hearing those actual words? You get a whopping 93 days in jail!
I was appalled! I was shocked! This beautiful, strong woman had, with great courage, faced her fears. She walked into that courtroom and with tears rolling down her face and had to listen to this man describe how it was really her fault that he made that statement. And while the judge was sympathetic to her and actually verbalized that this man was “scary”, he could do nothing more than hold out the “carrot” of probation and give this man a few more months free to prove or disprove that he was going to work on his issues. So now we wait, we hope and pray that he doesn’t have a psychotic episode, and if he does something again, we hope it isn’t “the” moment that goes too far and that this young woman will have the chance to face her fears one more time and testify to the fact that the merciful thing to do for this family and society is to place this man behind bars.
In the meantime, we will continue to support this young woman as she faces her tormentor, as she mother’s her two little ones as a single parent and as she works full time to support them and we pray that she can stay safe and continue to grow in realization of who God is and how she is not a victim but a victor!
While we were in that courtroom, I admit, it seemed like she was being victimized all over again and I felt that injustice with her, but I still believe that being present is the best gift! For when she found that a plea was being offered and that she wouldn’t have to testify she looked at me and said, it’s because you are here, it’s because of your prayers. She knew Who was on her side!
I tell you this story, one of many, so you will be able to see that the part you play as you serve in this ministry is to afford us the opportunity to be on the front lines of ministry, eradicating poverty one relationship at a time! Thanks for answering the call! Thanks for being part of what God is doing at Love In the Name of Christ!
-Lisa Mathews, Executive Director
